My life is horrible- please tell me everthing will be okay..im begging you?

hi. im 17 yrs to age..n my life is horrible..i have Indian Caribbean parents..who are very controlling n demanding.at the age of 13 i fell into a grave depression. i drew up seeing my father beat my mother terribly..n also me.. :(..i still have the scars...family arguments was n still is at the highest..however somethings have changed..but my parents are still livin on my life..wen i was in high shool i wasnt allowed to have friends..i wasnt allowed to leave the house n after school i had to return as soon as possible. my mom was so obsessed tht she use to follow me to school then collect me in the afternoon..no one was allowed to call me on the phone...n i wasnt allowed to use theinternet evn for homework! my mom controls my life..she tells me wot to eat..wen to eat..wot to wear...wen to sleep etc etc//n of course i dunt like it..wen i had a bf after high school...she wont evn allow me to go out..i met him once for the time we were together..n i had to end the relationship cuz i was to afraid to tell him my situations..she curses me horrible n throws insults at me..she n my father..tells me stuff like im no good or im better off dead..one time i was sittin on the stairs n my neighbour ped by n said good mornin n i replied to him n my father heard n told my mom i was sleepin wit the neighbour....wenever my mothing finds out tht im tlkin to a friend she curses me soo bad..n tells me im worthless..n i make her life horrible..like wot the hell..its the other way around..to get away from all of this//she moved me to nyc..n now im here..i truly have no friends anymore..all i have in this life is a long distance boyfriend (my first real relatioship)whom i never met...but he helps me alot..but he's nt actually here which make me hurt more :'(...wen im online tlin to him my mom gets pissed off n tells me im stupid etc etc..i wanted to go bk this summer for holiday but she tells me im nt goin today evn tho she promised me..i feel so bad..i cried so much my eyes are swollen..the only person in my life who makes me happy i wont be able to meet.. doesn't my mom know she's damaging my life..iv tried all in the past.. counseling....suicide attempts n even ignoring them but they dunt work...i jus want somebody to tell me tht i will be ok..n i will meet my bf some day..plz..im beggin you.. even if u have to lie....jus tell me plz..:'(